Autonomy – Mastery – Purpose

After contemplating this idea (see link below) I am convinced this idea is why I am having a successful 2nd year in the classroom.  Not that my students have much autonomy-mastery-purpose but I have a lot of autonomy, I’m continually working towards mastering the fine art of teaching reading to students who can’t read and to those who can read but don’t like to think, and I feel (finally) that I have a purpose that is greater than myself.  The three things I did not have at previous schools.  I wonder if this could be part of the solution to the education crisis in the United States.  There is a lot more to think about but I’m busy planning a gap-lesson that is meaningful.  Gap being the time between exams and the end of the semester.

Watch and mull:  http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/dan_pink_on_motivation.html

Must write more to clear my head so I can get to the more important job at hand!!!

I am forced to post rewards and consequences in my classroom but I’ve left them vague enough that my students can’t hold me to anything (except the coveted “free homework” pass or the equally coveted “skip two test questions” pass).  In a very brief reflection after viewing the TED video lined above above, I came to the conclusion that my lack of a single gold star for spelling excellence in 6th grade did not motivate me to become a good speller (I still can’t spell).  What it did do was humiliate me to the degree that I still think about it more than 30 years later.  In further (brief) reflection I came to the additional conclusion that my highest achieving students do not continually improve because of the possibility of reward (or an “A” because most don’t really care about that either) but because they are learning about the importance of self-motivation and the benefit of reading well (period).  My currently highest-achieving student was my biggest behavior problem (severely defiant) so I quickly devised a system that gives him a choice of three things that he has to work on, two of which have a set deadline, but he can work on them in any order that he wants.  No more behavior problem and he went from reading at a 5th grade level to a 9th grade level in 18 weeks.  Granted I still have to reign him in and remind him who the teacher is periodically but overall he is not a problem.  Fact is, I often find him sitting under a reading cubby (yes, under the cubby) curled up in a ball reading a book (usually way out of his range).  I’m not sure if he needs to hide out so no one sees him reading a thick book or if just feels the need to curl up with a good book.  If it IS the former it WILL lead to the latter eventually (and that is the beauty of AUTONOMY-MASTERY-PURPOSE).

Running on high octane

The school year is off and running and unlike last year, I am amazed that MOST of my students come into class and do what I ask them to do.  I have a couple problem children in every class but I’m getting really good at figuring out really fast who probably has ADHD and I find alternative ways to keep them active (read: undisruptive).  I’m also getting really good at giving the “I really want the very best for your education” in my sweetest lovely tone to the girls who think they are grown.  I try and sound like a grandma and (with my gray hair and the age of their grandma’s it is not unlikely that their grandma is around my age) they respond well to that.  BUT, there is always a but, I have 7th period.  Oh, 7th period.  Friday I thought it was because it was the end of the first full week and I was off my game.  So I tried again today.  No dice.  There are eight 7th grade girls in that class and they ALL think they are grown and they talk and talk and talk and get out of their seats and me, being the experienced teacher that I am, lower my voice to almost a whisper (I won’t talk over them, my voice can’t take it and it’s ineffective).  I tried to call 8 parents, all have disconnected numbers except for the one!  Bingo, the ring leader, the loudest, the one who says she is getting out of my class because she “don’t need no reading class because she can already read.”  Her mother works for the county school district and we had a nice long chat.  I think most of my problem will be resolved by tomorrow.  I will meet with the Assistant Principal tomorrow and come up with a game plan for the rest.  Yes, they frustrate me, and yes, I lost my temper a bit on Friday, but they have not beat me.  What a difference from last year.  Last year a class like would have had me in tear.  This year, it’s no surprise that girls can be nasty and rude and disrespectful and it’s my job to train them right (with help).

I love my job.

Random nonsense necessary to clear my head for sleep

My head aches and I can’t find a comfortable position and for once it’s not because of the autoimmune that has me wired wrong or the damaged discs that make sitting, standing, and lying down painful.  Tim DeChristopher goes to jail for civil disobedience.  The rich get richer the poor get poorer.  I no longer embrace the ideals of the organization to which I belong but I still want to be an effective educator that teaches kids to read.  Educational inequity is a crappy word for a crappy problem.  Transformational is a reality TV buzz word I hate not a “pump up the volume” education warrior cry.  The schools in the Delta with the most government resources and the biggest names in education reform are performing as poorly as ever.

MLK said, in 1963, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

School starts in a week and I’m exhausted from moving desks and the computer center around and putting the library on shelves.  tomorrow I’ll put my feet up and write three days worth of lesson plans (2 hours per plan = 6 hours) and do some laundry.

I am really excited that I have a grand puppy.  Liz and John brought home this little cutie last week.

Then, a few days later my brothers good ole’ boy mixed breed died (he was 14 calendar years old but I was still really sad).

Now,Lady is showing her age quickly and radically.  Sunday she vomited six times.  Monday she laid around all day and looked tired.  Today her appetite is back with a vengeance but she is favoring her right back leg.  She doesn’t appear to be in pain and I felt everything and she didn’t whine or whimper at all.  I took her for a very short walk around the back yard and she started putting her foot down and putting some weight on it.  Not bad for a 91 year old who has worked hard all her life.  As long as she is not in pain, continues to eat well, and drinks water I will let her live her days in air conditioned comfort.  She gave my life meaning and purpose when I needed it the most.  I hope I continue to give her life meaning and purpose when she needs it most.

Homespun NY Times

I read these Times stories and they actually made me a little teary.  They talk about where I am from and what I am made of and the legacy of a father who worked in the plant and hunted to keep the freezer full and died at 62 with a broken body.  I may be part of one of the most elite organizations in the US but I am still walking around with hands slightly damp from being wiped on my apron.

Out of Poverty, Family-Style

They, Too Sing America

Parental truths

This summer, for my reading pleasure, I am reading Young Adult novels that have won awards.  That’s my only criteria and I peruse the local library stacks looking for the Newberry sticker or some other indicator of importance.

I read The Grapes of Wrath, which I have never read before, a few weeks ago.  I understand why it is an important literary work and some of the themes have stuck with me.  Typically I forget a book within a few minutes after reading the last page but every now and again one sticks around in my brain.  Let me qualify that truth with this statement:  I typically read fluff for fun and most of it is unremarkable but a break for my brain.

The other night I read Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse.  I read it in a few hours in one sitting.  It is excellent and it is a poignant view of the Dust Bowl era from the eyes of a child.  If I read it again or if I would have spent time to think while I was reading I would have more to say about it.

This weeks book was Criss Cross by Lynne Rae Perkins.  It is written in a hodgepodge of styles that probably resembles a typical teenager’s mind.  I found it uncomfortable at times.  For example, the “Japanese Chapter” is written in haiku.  Lots of them.  So many that I found myself stopping after each three line exchange between the protagonist and her best friend to count out the syllabication to check how authentic the lines were.  Every line wasn’t necessarily a line of haiku so it slowed down my progress and I had to stop myself from this OCD exercise to follow the flow.

My favorite part of the book, that resulted in an audible chuckle, was written for the teachers or other adults enjoying the novel.  Most young adult readers won’t get it.  I include it here for your reading pleasure (79-80).

“So,” he said (very casually) to the younger girl, “what did you say your name was?”

“Meadow,” she said.

“Metto?” he repeated, not understanding what she meant.

“You know; butterflies, flowers, bees, grass, sunshine:  Meadow.”

“Oh.  That’s a really unusual name.”

“Hector’s an unusual name, too.”

“But it’s a name, Meadow is, like, a word.  It’s a really nice word, but it’s not usually a name.”

“Well, I heard my dad say it would have been more precise to call me Tent, but Meadow seemed better for a name.  I guess they used to go camping a lot.

I teach what? English?

Periodically I read my posts to see what I have been thinking about.  To my utter horror and dismay I realize even I make their, there and to, too errors.  I am amazed that I don’t catch them on my read through before I post the entry.  I don’t proof my work since this is more like a journal and less like an assignment.  I do read them through to make sure I understand what the heck I’m talking about.  So, forgive me my errors and if you are like me, everyone’s errors jump off the page and scream at you unlike your own.  Maybe, someday, I will go through and proof my work but in the mean time I am writing from my heart and as I’ve said before I only write for myself anyways.

I did a few things right

When my daughter was around 15 years old she went to visit her father for three weeks.  While she was gone I had to load and empty the dishwasher, feed and water the cats and dog, clean out the litter box, clean up the dog deposits in the yard, and do all the dusting and vacuuming on Saturday morning.  I remember thinking that perhaps I have her do too much around the house if her absence is so startling but I didn’t change anything and when she came back she resumed her household responsibilities and I continued with mine.

I wasn’t overly authoritative and I didn’t need to be.  She knew I loved her by my actions and my words and I rarely had to yell at her because when I told her how I felt about some of her more careless behavior she knew that it hurt me more than angered me.  She obeyed mostly because I tried to have her best interest at heart and she knew that.  I worked really hard to provide the best I could and she knew that to.

She was sometimes frustrated and angry because we didn’t have the best possessions and she would stomp off and slam a door when I told her “no” and she knew I meant it.   She had a job at age 14 and was active in the school music programs and had a lot of friends that were in and out of our house all the time.

She basically did well in school.  She had some issues with authority and when she got in trouble and let her take her lumps (detention, suspension, grounded).  Only twice did I go to bat for her at school.  The first time was because the teacher was truly being unfair to her and it went on and on and on.  The second time was because she was having a bit of an emotional breakdown and I needed to make sure the teachers were on board to help her through that tough time.

It wasn’t easy and it was rarely roses.  We were broke and I made so many mistakes and missteps that I thought for sure she would end up a drugged out baby momma before she was 18.  Instead, I watched her graduate from college this weekend.  While I sat and watched for her in the processional (thankfully she had her Greek letters on her mortar board) and I listened as the dean of her school presented her class to the college president and I cried a little when they were accepted for graduation, I thought about all those things.

I realized that in spite of all that and because of all that she is an adult with a solid education.  She has a plan and she is going to make many mistakes and missteps but she knows how to be strong and persevere and I am prouder than I can express in words – of her and of myself.

Taming Mississippi

1927 Mississippi River Flood

Mark Twain, no stranger to the Mississippi River, wrote that if the Mississippi were a “little European river . . . it would just be a holiday job . . . to wall it, and pile it, and dike it, and tame it down, and boss it around . . . but it ain’t that kind of river.”

So this past week included record breaking tornadoes and flooding.  I’m going out tomorrow to take pictures.  Arkabutla Lake rose 7 feet in 24 hours – I got to see that.  Elvis’s ranch pond flooded and the cows can’t graze there right now – got to see that also.  More importantly, the levee system keeping the River from flooding the Delta is being tested to near limits.  The water level is projected to crest on May 10-12 at levels not seen since 1927.  Nineteen twenty-seven was the year of the “big” flood.  I had to check the PBS American Experience information on that flood and I, again, came smack into injustices forced upon the former slaves and decedents of slaves.  During the flood, African American sharecroppers were forced into Levee Camps and guarded by the National Guard to prevent them from leaving and finding work elsewhere.

Also this week I found out “in no uncertain terms” that I would not be returning to Hazlehurst City School.  I didn’t get a non-renewal notice last week and I was also asked what I wanted to do next year so I assumed (mistake) that I would be offered a contract.  I was a mess on Monday because I have never been told that I am “presumptuous” before and I’ve never been fired before and now I’ve been fired three times since December 17.  The December and January firings were not because of my performance but because of the mess at Helena School this non-renewal is because the principal was displeased with my performance and work ethic.  I guess she never noticed my car in the parking lot at 5 pm when she left every day.  I am taking it with a grain of salt because she was fired also for performance.  I guess I was caught in some cross-fire public education politics.

In the meantime I am tutoring a 7th grader every day because she has been thrown out of her English class for behavior, I’m co-teaching with the Literacy Coach and I’m analyzing the data from my Advanced students so I can prove how I am crushing the achievement gap.

TFA is finding a new placement for me.  I hope it is closer to my house – it’s a little too tough being away from home and away from Lady all week.

When I got home tonight I could smell the earth and hear the peepers and it was amazing.

The Magical Mystery School

After contemplating a FB post by a fellow educator I started thinking about what an ideal school would look like.  The discussion mainly focused on older kids in classrooms with younger kids because they are not at their own level and the inherent problems.  The school system believes differentiated learning is the solution to this problem.   Basically a teacher is teaching 2-4 different level learners at the same time.  Now I only teach advanced level students – those who scored really close to Advanced on last years MCT2 (Mississippi’s pitiful standardized tests that doesn’t nearly measure up to national standards but that is another post for another day).  Anyways, my high-achieving, gifted, bright, brilliant students are at several levels in just my tiny groups of 10-15 students.  I have to hustle to keep everyone challenged, busy, and engaged or I lose them to behavior issues.  If that happens with only the best and brightest in a small group you can compound that by 100 in a standard classroom of 25 students – the IEP students, the low-achievers, the high-achievers, the potentially high-achievers who don’t care, the low-achievers who kind of care but are afraid because they want to be cool.  Problems are rampant and classroom management is a nightmare.  I know – I was in one of those classrooms of 5th graders for 1 week and I couldn’t cut it (the lack of planning time or time to pee without children was more of the issue, plus I was their third teacher this year but again another post for another day).

Back to my idea.  I’m going to call my school the Magical Mystery School.  Students will be gathered in standard grade levels and will have the typical see, say, do instruction then they are on their own with a teacher guiding them.  Everyone will work on material at their own level to push them on to the next level.  Students will be required to play outside everyday, and participate in arts and sports until their passion is discovered and that passion will be nurtured with regular 2-3 times weekly enrichment.  Students move along at their own pace with teachers guiding them.  Victories will be celebrated.  Think of the thrill for a student to grasp a difficult math concept or read on grade level or beyond and not always feel like the dummy in the class.  Kids who are not engaged and don’t care will learn to care when they are not held back from daily recess because they act up in class – hey guess what!  They act up in class because they are kids and need to run around a bit everyday.  Also, kids who are not engaged will more likely at least try if they know they have yoga (or band, or vocal, or drawing, or sculpting, or floor hockey) next period.

I’m sure their are models more thought out and were dismal failure but I don’t know enough about the failed education system in this country to identify them and I’m to busy teaching kids to read, and write, and think to spend too much time doing the research right now.

Anyways, it’s just my thoughts and I wish I could help all of them but I’ll try and help the 100 I have the best I can.

Peace, love, harmony

I got what I asked for

Well, not really.  I specifically told TFA in my application, etc. that I would go anywhere they wanted me to go as long as I taught secondary English.  I did get that but then I lost that because of the ineptitude of the leadership of the school who,  by the way, is a product of that school.  Now I’m 250 miles away teaching upper elementary social studies.

I am no longer unemployed (YES!).  I am no longer unable to sleep (Double-YES!).  But, (there is always a but) I am in a school that is being reinvented since they have been a failing school for several years.  An amazing organization called the Barksdale Reading Institute has come in, put some innovative administrators in place, and is going to reform this school to passing status.  I believe in all of that!  I really do, that’s why I joined TFA and moved 1100 miles away from the my baby girl (ok, she’s 21) and the life I knew.

But, I’m not in my 20′s anymore.  I’m a new teacher.  I’m coming in mid-year to a class that has had 3 new teachers PLUS their most recent teacher will still be working at the school, just not as their teacher.  General mutiny and an uproar of “that’s not fair” resulted in my being abused to the limit this week (think kid trying to stab another kid, all my boards erased, papers shredded and tossed within seconds of passing them out).    After contemplating this during my drive home this weekend (3 full hours of blissful silence except for the thump-thump of my tires on the pavement) I realized that of course these kids are upset.  Why are they getting this new teacher.

All of that aside, what really happened is I realized I physically am unprepared for the rigor of this classroom.  Twenty-five students under my careful watchful eye from 7:30 am until 3:30 pm every single day (6 class at 25 students each). No lunch break, no planning period, no time to sit down and take a breather (or go to the bathroom for that matter).

What happened is my blood pressure went through the roof (I do take my meds) and that lucky release valve in my nose burst with a torrent of blood.  Thank God for that release valve or that torrent of blood would have been in my brain and that probably would have been the end of me.

After an honest discussion with my building principal I admitted I did not think I could do this job physically.  It was feeling like Institute without a chance to sit down.  I am surprised I made it through institute alive.  She’s going to see if she can move me into a remediation specialist position.  I would be doing “push-ins” with high-need students to help them achieve “basic” on state testing in reading and English.  I would also take a gifted and talented class two days a week to help push them into “advanced” on the state reading and English tests.  These would be small groups.  I would be co-teaching with the classroom teachers and I would have a lot of work to do but it would not be a battle field.  Honestly, I think I will be more of a benefit to this school in recover than I will be trying to manage the entire classroom.  I would also mentor the social studies teacher in lesson planning and model lessons for him.

I really am a good teacher I just don’t have the physical ability to handle all those kids all the time.  I feel I’m letting a lot of people down but when I get right down to it the only person who has ever mattered to me is my daughter.  I am willing to do what it takes to Teach for America except not be around for my daughter.

Now I have to go do laundry and grade 300 quizzes.